Ok, finally got around to changing the introduction text. But as you can see, I'm too sianz to write a proper one, so am going to blabber on in hopes that you will get an idea of what sort of person I am by guessing. Yeah, the format of this blog is crap. I haven't got around to fixing it. Later lah.. Much later...
I wanted to walk away. I was going to walk away. I did not value her enough to overlook her repeated lapses and failures of the very little that I ask for. Then she said I need you to care. So I walked back.
How can I not care when you ask me to?
ME signed off at 2:42 PM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
108th entry
'A sensible man ought to find sufficient company in himself.' - Wuthering Heights
'Then why are we attracted to those other than ourselves?'
'We were born that way. There is significance in seeking each other, and even hurting each other.' - Shin Seiki Evangerion
'God asks me, "Why?" I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad. We are not special. We are not crap or trash either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens.' - Fight Club
Emotional dependence. What a thing. Easier if we human beings were capable of happiness in a self-contained existence.
ME signed off at 9:49 PM
Friday, November 20, 2009
107th entry
It's easy enough to get over an addiction. All that's required is the will and self-control to just. not. do. some. things. you. know. are. stupid.
And to stay 10 miles away from the source.
Promises to myself.
1) No initiating contact. - Do not initiate msn conversations. - Do not sms without reasonable need for information otherwise unobtainable.
2) Resist the urge to follow available information sources. - Do not go to the blog - Do not go to the Facebook page - No as well to Twitter, or any other obscure imaginable thing the social media sphere can throw at us.
3) No playing Superhero City.
4) Lose 4kg like you're supposed to. Or at least 3... ok, let's make it 2.
5) Clean up my room.
6) Learn photography.
ME signed off at 3:16 PM
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
106th entry
"I remembered that the real world was wide, and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse, to seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils. ...
I tired of the routine of eight years in one afternoon. I desired liberty; for liberty I gasped; for liberty I uttered a prayer; it seemed scattered on the wind then faintly blowing. I abandoned it and framed a humbler supplication; for change, stimulus: that petition, too, seemed swept off into vague space: "Then," I cried, half desperate, "grant me at least a new servitude!""
- Jane Eyre
How you write my sentiments.
ME signed off at 11:53 PM
Sunday, November 15, 2009
105th entry
My blog posts are cryptic, aren't they? I never tell you what exactly happened, never mention names - in fact, neglect all the necessities of a good storytelling. Lacking a focus on a specific what, why, who or when - even when implied as singular, they are often experiences inter-merged.
Think you're being mentioned? Think again. You're probably right, but it's not just you.
Because... they are not written to chronicle my life. I have no intention of informing you of the mundane events of my daily drudge. They are nothing more than facts, and facts are boring. Do you want to know how's the movie I caught today? Go read the reviews. What are you up to these days? Go read my Facebook. Who cares.
They are to chronicle who I am. What I think, not what I see. They are to chronicle me - at the different stages of my life. They are to tell you who I am. Who I was, for the who I will be.
ME signed off at 11:31 PM
Saturday, November 07, 2009
104th entry
There's only so much a person can take. And take it they do, until they snap.
How much does it take to reach that point? Sometimes it's a sliver of annoyance, sometime it's a load piled on and on till it feels like a burden of infinity. But all it takes is for that one step to cross that line - that line so thin, it's invisible.
The fury blooms, and what a great fire that burns. Then the fire dies and fades away, the miles disappear to smoke and shadows - and you turn back, and you are a different person.
ME signed off at 9:32 AM
Friday, November 06, 2009
103rd entry
Always been a little queer, a little heady, a little bit crazy - part of me always somewhere else. Even when involved, often one step not in. Always part of my soul not there; the back of my mind a wandering.
Always having thoughts, opinions, pictures, images and words ever there as company. Wanting to express them.
They are clear, concise and simple enough to me - a different set of normal. But why is it so difficult for others to see it the same way I do.
Feeling always a little detached, sometimes strangely feeling very lonely. Part of many groups, but always just ever been part of one. Always expecting others to understand me, and puzzled when they don't.
